When I first started writing this post, it was originally about my three favorite As Seen on TV products of all time: the Eurosealer, the 'Ove Glove, and the Rotato.

But as I was looking for Rotato images, I ran across a few other As Seen on TV items, and I was reminded of several items I've seen that are just a little ...ridiculous.


 

Here is a list of the top ten weirdest, stupidest, and strangest As Seen on TV products I've ever seen. Obviously I'm just one guy, and I'm sure I missed some good ones. Feel free to let me know where I went wrong.

10. Are you ready for some meatballs?!

The makers of Meatball Magic are enthusiastic about their meatballs. Very enthusiastic.



The product works like this. You first shape yourself a nice, fat hunk o' ground beef.

Then, like a Play-Doh mold, you plop the device on top of the meat, squish it down, and swish it around on the counter where the balls form in the individual compartments. VOILÃ!

You have yourself some tasty, raw, I-can't-believe-what-a-mess-this-leaves-on-my-countertop meatballs.

And just to remind you where meatballs go best, it comes with four "pasta" forks.

The best part of this product is the picture on the box.

Those folks sure are happy they're getting magically-made meatballs. Woohoo! Yeah! We're getting us some meatballs!



SRP: $19.95

 

9. Wipe yourself into a good tan

Comodynes Self Tanning Wipes for Face and Body. I remember seeing a few minutes of an infomercial for these a while back.


These towelettes come with a mighty promise. Take one of these suckers out of the package, unwrap it, and wipe yourself down.

In "a few hours" you and your pasty Irish skin are magically transformed into that of a Nubian goddess. Check out these before and after pics:


That's not a computer-generated tan or anything.


I suspect if you don't want to end up looking like a zebra, you have to have a good memory to use these correctly.

There's nothing sexier than blotchy legs.


SRP: $12.99 for an 8-pack.

 

8. Electrocute your stomach into fitness.

There were several different brands of these, and they all seemed to come out at once. Ab Energizer, Abtronic, Fast Abs, etc.

You don't see these around as much as you did a couple years ago, but they're still out there.

The FTC laid the smackdown on the manufacturers back in '02, but if you google around, you can still find them for sale making the same amazing promises.

The premise is simple. Muscles need to work out in order to get stronger, right?

Well instead of actually doing crunches, you strap a belt around your stomach and have jolts of electricity shock your muscles into vibrating themselves into a six pack. It's freakin' brilliant.


Just look at that picture. That dude is all ripped and sweating, and he's just standing there.


Are people really so lazy that they would rather be subjected to physical torture than do a sit up?

And unless you start off with a six pack, you're not really shocking your abdominal muscles with the belt.

You're throwing jolts into your beer belly, maybe cooking that chili dog you had for lunch a little more before it makes its way back out of you.

I don't know what's more surprising... that the companies thought they could actually get away with marketing something as ridiculous as this, or that people bought into it by the thousands.

SRP: Varies widely from $19.95 to a couple hundred bucks.



7. Jump onto the Body Dome!

I could make a whole list of ridiculous exercise machines, but instead I'll just go with this one:


No, that's not a prop from Batteries Not Included. That's The Body Dome.

Apparently, if you balance yourself on top of a ball like a circus elephant while you tug on these resistance lines, you get yourself a full body workout.

I suspect if used correctly this thing could probably help you get a decent enough workout. But at what cost? Your dignity?

SRP: $99.95

 

6. AromaTrim. Smell your way into weight loss.

Rounding up the fitness trifecta, we have the easiest way to lose weight ever. AromaTrim.



You sniff. You lose weight. Don't let the content smile on that lady's face fool you, though.

There's a catch. AromaTrim is (was in the US, but it's still sold in Asian markets) a Zippo-sized hunk of plastic you whip out whenever you start to feel hungry.

The plastic is designed to smell like vomit. Really.

You sniff. You get ill. You don't eat. In the late 90s, this thing made millions of dollars in the US. I'm pretty sure I could fill a bag with Circle K nachos mixed with corn nuts and duplicate the effect, and it would cost me a lot less than fifty bucks.

SRP: $49.95.

 


5. Personal "neck" Massagers.

Okay, ladies. You've had a hard, grueling day at the office. All you want to do is relax, maybe get a neck massage. So what do you reach for? This, of course:



I love the commercials for these things. There are several different brands, but they all basically show the same thing.

A woman rubs it all over her neck while she rolls her eyes into the back of her head.

Some of them even come with attachments so you can massage your "neck" in a different way every night.




I would love to see other sex toys masquerade as family-friendly products. Meet inflatable, yodeling Veronica!

SRP: Varies.

 

4. The World's Most Lethal Badminton Racket

Who hasn't smacked a bug with a flyswatter or tennis racket and have it not die?

Well take one racket and combine it with the Abtronic, and you have yourself The Amazing Handheld Bug Zapper!



Of all the products on this list, this is the only one I want to actually get, especially since it's pretty cheap. It sounds like fun.

You walk into a fly-infested room and start swinging away.

The moment a fly comes into contact with strings, it's zapped to death. It takes two AA batteries, so the jolt can't be too bad.

Still, I bet it would double nicely as a discipline device for unruly children

SRP: $12.99

 

3. The Flowbee

If you've seen Wayne's World, you know how this thing works. It's a timeless classic.


"Oh the girls are just gonna love my new look."

You hook it up to your vacuum cleaner, and you cut your hair with it. The official Flowbee website describes it best:
The FLOWBEE Vacuum Haircut System allows you to create the most popular haircut styles. FLOWBEE can cut your hair from 1/2" to 6" long in any 1/4" increments. Simply select the desired spacer depending on the length you want your haircut. Then attach the spacer to your Flowbee. Haircut styles of your choice are easy and clean. Longer than 6" haircut is possible with the addition of more spacers available on the parts page.
I had a friend whose mom owned a Flowbee (or similar) haircut system. He looked like his hair was cut by a drunken Edward Scissorhands.


SRP: $59.95

 

2. Transformer WTC Coin

This is the newest item on the list. I just saw a commercial for it earlier today.



Holy Christ Almighty. The sheer cheesiness of this offends me.

It's made out of "15 mg. of 24 KT gold and 15 mg. of .999 pure Ground Zero recovery silver content." In other words, they're claiming the coins are made from silver actually found in the WTC wreckage.


Here's the official website for this monstrosity.

I'm not sure how much of a profit they make off of these, but they claim to donate $5 from every sale to 9/11 charities.

I suspect their own profit margin is pretty high.

It's probably worthy to note that the company that makes these ugly-ass, exploitive coins--National Collector's Mint--already got their production of another 9/11-themed coin halted by the Attorney General of New York a couple years back.

Shame, shame.

SRP: $29.95.

 

1. Ronco Spray-on Hair

No self-respecting As Seen on Tv-related list can call itself a real list if it doesn't include at least one Ronco product.

Well, of all their products, one stands out as the most absolutely ridiculous. In fact, I dub it the Stupidest As Seen on TV Product of All Time.

I'm talking about the Ronco GHL ("Great Looking Hair") system.


The first time I saw a commercial for this, I thought it was a joke. This is a product for bald men. You spray paint your bald head in order to make yourself look like you're not bald.

Then you pray it doesn't rain.

Look at these before and after shots:



Imagine meeting a great girl and trying to start a relationship with her while secretly using this.

You go on a date, everything is going well, and it's time to say good night.

You're nervous, and you start to sweat. As you lean in for that good-night kiss, a wall of brown goop cascades down your face, making you look like Major Toht from Raiders of the Lost Ark.


Yeah.

SRP: $19.95 for the three-piece system.

***
And there you have it. I'm certain I'll wake up tomorrow and decide other great products should be on this list, but that's what it is for now.


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Date: 1 Jul 2009 | Author: mesmerX | Category: News, Pictures | Views: 12907

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Comments: 8

Athena K
wassat yikes

Guest
I have aromotrim and it DOES NOT make your food smell nor taste bad. It simply stops the desire for it, at least long enough for me to resist it and get on with other things, not food.It has a vety pleasant smell. I'm thinking that if I buy anise at the grocery store that it may help as well. I'm going to try that.

Guest
I have the Flowbee, the aromatrim AND the bug szapper and love all three. They all work. The flowbee has saved me a lot of monry over the years. The aromatrim smells like anise and when I sniff it I no longer want that food for that moment. Gets me past the craving, Has worked with sweets and other foods so far. Don't know if it is permanent yet but it does work to get past that moment. Can be sniffed as often as you need it. It is not just a piece of Plastic!

Guest
that is funny things tongue

buzznod
I also have one of those flyswatters and they are fun to play with I got mine through Harbor freight

Guest
Must. Get. Electric. Flyswatter.

Matt
I actually have the electric fly swatter, and it is so much fun. I like finding new ways to kill flys, and I enjoy shocking them to death. Also, it is powerful enough that you dont want to touch it with your tongue(5 bucks to a stupid friend = laughter). All of those products suck...except the fly swatter.

paigan
HAHA!! Funny stuff! tongue

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