Growing up is one embarrassing moment after another. Here’s a few moments that tend to stand out from the rest.

1. WALKING IN ON YOUR PARENTS HAVING SEX

Few things in life are as scarring as going to ask your parents if you can open the new box of Cocoa puffs, only to find your father putting his erect penis inside your mother.

If the government could make the terrorists in Guantamo Bay watch their parents boning in front of them, we could get rid of waterboarding. The worst part about it is when your parents see you, they frantically try to pull the covers over themselves and turn away from you, except they haven’t coordinated this, so they each pull different things, resulting in them pulling covers off of another part of their body.

This leaves you face to face with images such as the back of your dad’s nutsack, or your mom’s asshole.

 

2. GETTING CAUGHT MASTURBATING

The sheer, heart-stopping terror that shoots through your body when your mom walks in while you’re masturbating causes you to blurt out the the only words you can think of as fast as you can.

Unfortunately your nerves have only left you with a collection of ridiculous phrases that do nothing too help your cause. “Whoa, cleaning! Washing…hang on! No, I’m not! Just can’t get my pants on! Stuck! New underwear! I swear!” If you have a hippy mom, she’ll probably try and tell you that what you’re doing is a completely normal bodily function.

If you have an uptight mom, she’ll walk out and pretend nothing ever happened. (Pray for an uptight mom.)

 

3. CRYING IN FRONT OF EVERYONE

Whether it’s because you fell down on the playground or crapped your pants or got caught stealing, everyone has a moment in their childhood where they stood there and let buckets of tears and snot run down their face while making that hiccupy air sucking noise in front of all their friends.

And after the “incident” is over, your best friends won’t talk to you for at least an hour because they don’t want to catch your shame cooties. No one will actually say the word “dignity” (mostly because they’re too young to know what it means) but from that day forward you will know that you don’t have any.

 

4. YOUR FIRST FIGHT

Somebody’s Derek Jeter binder got stepped on and suddenly a time and location are set and the entire school has found out. Your friends, who have never been in a fight, suddenly have a wealth of combat knowledge to share with you.

When you arrive to the location after school, you partake in the ceremonial “calling your opponent a fag” portion of the event for several minutes as you both try and put off the actual fighting part of the fight.

But the crowd becomes restless, and suddenly you clamp your fist and swing it towards your opponent like you’re throwing a grenade under water. It lands nowhere near his face like you had planned, and the fight devolves into both of you pulling each others shirts while on the ground, and getting super red faced, as if you’re attempting to shit out a bowling ball.

After about twenty seconds of what looks like two kids dry humping, the crowd sees a random adult 200 yards away and scatters frantically.

 

5. CRAPPING/PISSING YOURSELF

Managing bathroom breaks is one of the trickier aspects of being a child.

Which is why you see so many young boys running around and holding their wieners like your dad holds the garden hose when he doesn’t want any water to come out of it.

But there’s still nothing worse than realizing you just crapped yourself or unloaded a gallon of Kool Aid into your Underoos.

The problem is, what do you do after you’ve demolished your pants in a public setting? Most kids just freeze like a deer in the headlights and pretend nothing happened while their minds race over their options, which are:

1) Sit there and pretend nothing happened. Then when someone asks about the smell, blame the retarded kid. Or...

2) Start crying. As with most childhood situations, options 1 and 2 usually end up occurring.

 

6. GETTING A BONER IN A PLAYGROUND SETTING

When you’re little, boners, much like hurricanes, are an unstoppable force that comes with little or no warning, leaving you powerless until they’ve run their course.

Your only hope is that they happen in unpopulated areas. But sometimes a slight wind mixed with a quick lateral movement during a tag game, causes a boner to rear it’s ugly head.

And if you’re not wearing pants or shorts that allow for the “Tuck it behind your belt” method, you’re forced to waddle towards a place where you can sit down, in hopes that pushing your ass out will leave enough open space in the crotch area of your shorts to give your boner some breathing room. Unfortunately everyone can identify that walk, and they suddenly stop whatever they’re doing and point and stare like they’re a group of Japanese tourists on a whale watching expedition.

Then the kid who’s parents don’t pay enough attention to him at home yells out “he’s got a boner!” and ironically adds, “What a homo!”

 

7. ASKING A GIRL OUT

The first time you try and ask a girl out on a date ends up sounding a lot like a Woody Allen monologue.

You start off with, “Um, so, um, I was wondering if, like, ya know, maybe you wanted to, like…I mean you’re probably busy, but, like…” and then after three minutes of that you end it with “…and so my friend was all, like, ya know weird and then the helicopter picked them up off the boat…and that’s it.”

After you walk away thinking you were totally cool, it slowly dawns on you that you didn’t actually ask her out, but in your nervous desperation ended up telling her about an episode of Gilligan’s Island.

 

8. WET DREAM

When you wake up from your first wet dream, you’re basically like one of those soldiers in the first twenty minutes of Saving Private Ryan; scared and confused and checking to see if the stuff you’re covered in is coming from your body.

After realizing it’s not urine by rubbing it between your fingers and smelling it like an 1800s fur trader trying to make sure he’s not getting a fake pelt, it’s clean up time. I’m pretty convinced that if murderers took the time and paid the attention to detail that kids spend hiding the evidence of an unexpected splooge, death row would be empty.

 

--
Source: http://www.holytaco.com


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Comments: 36

Run3
retarded huh!!

Timmity3
since

Timmity3
In my first fight I thrpugh my oponent across the playground then a teacher brought us to the vice princeble and I started crying. Luckily the vice was my teacher the year before an knew I was only bad when I got extremey annoyed so I got out and the other guy got in big truble while I got fame and havent been bullied. ;D

Timmity3
I'm 11 and when I was ten no. 1 happend. It happened on a sunday morning I got up early and went in to my parents bedroom to say good morning and saw them humping. I sorta got traumatized and started shaking then ran back to bed.Luckily they didint see me but they knew they had been seen and stoped.

Guest
I am 15 years old and got number 1 a few days ago and I walked in with my boxer-briefs on as I was going for a shower as we only have a bath in the main bathroom so for a shower I have to walk through my parents room and there was my mom and dad nude having sex and cum everywhere but it was not too embarrassing as we see each other nude all the time.

Guest
Why would people masterbate
Especially when somebodys home

Guest
Gay

Guest
MASTUBATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
! smile FUcking sexyy. Im doing it....NNOW!! AAAAAAAAHHHH wink

Donkay
I got number one when i was 13. We had a laugh about it afterwards, but it was pretty scary. All i wanted was a glass of water.

pussychic
Wht r some good objects to stick upp mi place...I'm 13 and haven't tried masturbating yet...anyone got any tipscrying

myself
Wht do 11-13 year olds do during masturbating..someone plzz tell mee..I really want to knoo sad

Guest
Is it ok for 11 year olds to masturbate bc I caught mi daughter doing it..wassat

Rick
Yeah. Number 8. But imagine if you had your first wet dream when you are in the hospital, completely immobilized in casts. What do you think about while you wait for the first nurse to come by and see the mess you made?

Pornstar
I'm 12 and have had sex my 14 year old gf is pregnant
Lol jk im39 I have 2 kids Who i fuck everday

AQUA
Guest and Peacechic, yes it is perfectly normal for 11 and 12 year old girls to masturbate and a third of all girls masturbate by the age of 13.

Guest
I can completely agree with the wet dream description. Of course they should mention that if your first wet dream also happens to be your first ejaculation that it is more embarrassing than for those kids who have had some "target practice" previously, and can at least identify the sticky liquid and orgasmic pulsations. For me, at least, the dream was awesome enough - not sex - but an innocent embrace with some girl followed by pretty amazing euphoric sensations followed by... peeing??? Yes, it felt like that, although much nicer somehow, and curiously as the flow trickled to a stop it surged again into another flow. The major embarrassment then was upon awakening the realization that I had just let myself wet the bed without waking up. THEN comes the next phase of realizing what happened by identifying the fluid and hoping you don't have a terminal disease. FINALLY is the embarrassment of cleaning up and hiding the evidence. The underwear are easily enough disposed of (or in my case hidden in the back or a drawer where the stain become a permanent crusty yellowish reminder of that day years later) but if any got on your sheets you are busily trying to blot it out or dilute it with water to get it out. Phew!

wow! :))
tongue hahahahahahahahahaah! laughing laughing this is so true! tongue

Guest
I've got a hippy mom unfortunately!wassat angry Nice pics, just not for the poor dudes it happens to!wink

Guest
tongue nice

Guest
laughing

Guest
hola senior im from britian jost drupped in fo swau hello÷
i havê à b˘nèr

peacechcik
i have had none of those but i masturbate is it ok that im 12 and do this??wink

Guest
is it normal for 11 year old girls
to masturbate?

Guest
I wank ova wet dreams

Guest
i m pretty sure i m gonna witness #7. a dude's friend said he was gonna ask me out. omg thts gonna be awkward!!sad poor guy. at least hes hot

u dont need to know
i remember number 2 it was fucking embarasing

Guest
laughing

Cry Baby
that was sooo funny. haha! who has had a wet dream here? funny one and i have had the crying one yesterday inffront of y whole high school> feel bad for me! going ot school tomorrow help!crying crying crying crying crying crying crying

---------
lol lucky non of these happened to me........cool pics tho.........have been walked in on while watching porn tho

Guest
lol amazing!!!!!!!!all but one two of those have hapened to me!!!!!! laughing tongue

Guest
ha ha ha
so nice we all do the same things in life.
nice sdite i only came here to steel your pics but stayed to read you things...

Guest
im only 12 and had half of those crying

Guest
well its really helpful actually humorous but helpful

LOL
Invigorating

Lucky
lmao i rember someof those moments expically the last 3 but the 6th one happens alot but im prooud *wink?* comes in handy

somebody crazy
haahaaa really funny...laughing.but yust not for the peopple that hapended thattongue

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