Have you ever thought about these things? Some are quite funny....

  1. Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
  2. Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
  3. Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?
  4. Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
  5. Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
  6. Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?
  7. What is the speed of darkness?
  8. Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours?
  9. Are there specially reserved parking spaces for 'normal' people at the Special Olympics?
  10. If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
  11. Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?
  12. How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
  13. Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Did you ever stop and wonder...

  1. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?'
  2. Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum.'
  3. Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
  4. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
  5. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?
  6. Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
  7. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs !
  8. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
  9. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
  10. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
  11. Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Few more...

  1. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
  2. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
  3. Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
  4. Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?

 

Comment on what you think to some of them.

 


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Date: 8 Aug 2008 | Author: mesmerX | Category: News | Views: 50794

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Comments: 41

Smartass | 18 Jun 2012 - 23:17
Kamikaze's wear helmets because they still have to worry about flak punching a hole through their head. A suicide bomber is no good if he crashes into the ground or ocean and not his target...

@the toaster one, there are still those Charles Manson's in the world...lol

@the cow/utters, It's not hard to look at a calf drinking from it's mothers utters. Especially when humans drink from a nipple too...

@the chicken one, that one is kind of legit lol. I suppose people ate chickens but then wondered what it would taste like if they weren't exactly chickens yet

@corn oil/vegetable oil/baby oil....it comes from the blood of the infidels

Guest | 15 Jun 2012 - 21:31
8.if quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

Answer : testical! : laughing :

awesome | 28 Mar 2012 - 01:23
all u haters just fuck off! dont try to come up with answers just to prove what!?!? that ur a smart ass?!?!? just apreciate the funny jokes that someone put online for everyones enjoyment!!!!

Guest | 23 Mar 2012 - 02:37
thanks laura for my killing my laugh

maximus rousikus | 17 Dec 2011 - 16:22
love them :) anyone know where i can find funny, but obvios facts? like, "masturbating is frowned upon at work." I made that up plus a shit load of others and i know theres funnier one than what i've come up with.

Guest | 9 Jun 2011 - 22:08
What us sad us that these were meant to be funny and thought provoking, even for a split second, but some people have to be so rude as to show off and ruin the whole point of the list. I appreciate that someone put something like this online for the pure amusement of others. Thanks!

Derp | 21 Feb 2011 - 18:21
crying

Guest | 3 Dec 2010 - 16:10
This is HILARIOUS!!!! LOVE IT!!!:tongue:

Guest | 8 Nov 2010 - 09:00
those were really funny..i enjoyed reading them.. Nice thinking.. smile

Guest | 26 Sep 2010 - 06:42
All you people that is trying to prove these questions wrong are retarded, it's suppose to be funny and if you guys actually had a fun life, you would have a sense of humor. plus, you guys probally dont even know the answers..so just shut up and have some fun dumbass.

David | 24 Sep 2010 - 07:15
Laura you added a great sense of 'morality' to this... laughing

Guest | 24 May 2010 - 01:39
Rofllaughing

me | 15 May 2010 - 01:44
Lol the baby oil one is funnylaughing good jobwink

Zaynee :P | 27 Feb 2010 - 14:28
Omdaiize .. I Nevah Really Asked These Rubbish Questions! tongue

Zach Page | 23 Sep 2009 - 00:28
Laura... you can go fuck yourself..they are jokes you douche bag not looking for common sense or knowledge....what a bitch

jasmine | 21 Sep 2009 - 04:21
«this is gay!angry»

Emma | 7 Sep 2009 - 07:25
Laura its spose to be funny.. obviously u have no sense of humour

me me me mememeem | 17 Aug 2009 - 21:27
there funny to me so hahahahahahahaaha pwndlaughinglaughinglaughing:laugh
ing:

lauren | 13 Jun 2009 - 12:05
these questions are cool because i asked my sister that she says "she is clever"she couldent anser these onessmiletongue

? | 14 Mar 2009 - 21:54
to laura...
i think it was meant as a joke...?!

Lektio | 24 Feb 2009 - 12:25
"Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?'"

This was stated by Bill Watterson in on of his cartoons. You could at least give him a little credit.

Teirusu | 20 Oct 2008 - 00:54
B:

8. Testy

9. Purified Water, Octyl Palmitate, Glycerin, Steareth-20, Cetearyl Alcohol, Steareth-2, Glyceryl Stearate, Xanthan Gum, Imidazolidinyl Urea, Methylparaben, Triethanolamine, Ceteareth-20, Carbomer-941, Dimethicone (AND) Trimethylsiloxysilicate, Fragarnce, Carbomer-940, Disodium Edta, FD&C Blue No.1

10. Moricity might... but electricity is a thing which comes from a combination of electrons and protons anyway..

11. The Star-Spangled Banner isn't an original tune either...


C.

1. do people from foreign countries with different charactersets?

3. No, but you might perceive such.

Teirusu | 20 Oct 2008 - 00:39
If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

0 degrees Fahrenheit: -229.835F
0 degrees Celsius: -136.575C
0 Kelvin: 0 K

Based on the rules of physics

rather

Teirusu | 20 Oct 2008 - 00:36
If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

0 degrees Fahrenheit: 459.669999F
0 degrees Celsius: 273.15C
0 Kelvin: 0 K

Based on the rules of physics

Teirusu | 20 Oct 2008 - 00:28
7. or, it could be the speed of light seeing as it is also a value of light sorta

mc | 15 Sep 2008 - 22:52
I know someone who works for Disney (she helped design Fantasyland) and she's said that Goofy isn't really a dog, he's just a goofy character. I could be wrong, though.

Kevin | 18 Aug 2008 - 19:00
3. Explain more. 5. Its rude to point at your bum ? 8. Hard, easy or normal ;) 10. Clearly not since you have none. 2. What aggressive posture ?

Kevin | 18 Aug 2008 - 19:00
3. Explain more. 5. Its rude to point at your bum ? 8. Hard, easy or normal ;) 10. Clearly not since you have none. 2. What aggressive posture ?

Kevin | 18 Aug 2008 - 18:48
All My comments are based at laura

Kevin | 18 Aug 2008 - 18:47
9. What about the reserved parking spot for coaches , trainers etc who are 'normal'

Kevin | 18 Aug 2008 - 18:41
Technically, laura , 11 is because mozart wrote it when he was 5 ,as he was 5 years old , the abc tune was the most memorable , so he based it on that , thus the simularity

| 16 Aug 2008 - 01:18
If you read the Tarzan books you'll see he has no beard because he shaves with a knife.

David | 15 Aug 2008 - 19:58
For the Tarzan question, I vote for an unfortunate vine-swinging accident involving a thorn tree in late adolescence...

| 15 Aug 2008 - 14:33
laura,
you are an idiot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Michelle | 14 Aug 2008 - 22:02
Laura, you sound like so much fun! Oh wait, no, you don't.

Laura | 14 Aug 2008 - 17:48
Most of these are either so over-told or wrong that they've long ceased to be funny:


3. Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?

Because the odds are you'll be putting more in, and they'll get first dibs.


5. Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Because there's no easy way to verify the first claim manually. Who knows if they believe you, but they can hardly count.



7. What is the speed of darkness?

Darkness, being the absence of light, is stationary.

8. Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours?

Because babies sleep without worries clouding their minds.

9. Are there specially reserved parking spaces for 'normal' people at the Special Olympics?

No, why would there be?

10. If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

Whatever the difference is between comfortable to a given individual and zero, times two.


13. Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Because they're usually looking at stuff on the ground further away than they could see from the ground where they started.



3. Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

For cooking frozen things that take longer to cook.


5. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?

Because it's not rude to point to your wrist.

6. Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

Because most people are embarrassed to strip off in front of a stranger and show the entire body. Most doctors put you in a robe and only look at what they have to.


8. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

I don't think that word means what you think it means.

9. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

Minerals. This joke was funny 20 years and 12,000 tellings ago.

10. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

See above.

11. Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Because it's a tune kids already know, making it easier to learn the song.

2. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Yes. It's probably the aggressive posture more than the air.

Arynne | 14 Aug 2008 - 04:48
thought about most of them once in a while
maybe my brain functions differently..
*shrugs* oh well

Emma | 12 Aug 2008 - 08:51
really true!!! never thought about it!!tongue

faisal | 9 Aug 2008 - 01:33
this is good!!

Allison | 8 Aug 2008 - 22:51
those are so true!smile

| 8 Aug 2008 - 21:39
This is hilarious...Thanks!

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