Having studied White People for 27 years, my authority on the topic is absolute; this list is damn near bullet proof.
The Top 10 Rap Songs White People Love
10. Positive K - I Got A Man
White People’s most beloved rap duet.
White Girls in particular love this song because it gives them a chance to playfully reject a male suitor’s advances on the dance floor before blowing him at the end of the night. It’s empowering.
9. Digital Underground - The Humpty Dance
Humpty Hump was rap music’s greatest alter ego and actually a good MC but all White People know (and love) him for is "I like my oatmeal lumpy," and "Burger King bathroom."
Fucking White People.
8. Biz Markie - Just A Friend
Oh my god do White People love this song. Particularly frat boys. Why? I don’t know.
Unlike most of his peers on this list, the Biz is a guy long deep in the hip hop scene with lots of cred, yet to White People he’ll only ever be that fat funny-looking black guy with the wig who sings bad.
7. Young MC - Bust A Move
I believe there is a law that requires this song be played at every Rock n’ Bowl.
Like that the police shut down the bowling alley if it doesn’t comply.
6. Rob Base and DJ Easy Rock - It Takes Two
Knowing the words up to "I get stupid, I mean outrageous" is standard and unremarkable.
Knowing everything up through the hook means you’ll be frenching at 80s Night.
5. Naughty By Nature - Hip Hop Hooray
Before he was shooting porn and marrying/divorcing Pepa (a near miss on this list herself), Treach was teaching White People the world over how to wave their arms from side to side above their heads while singing nursery rhymes.
Hip Hop Hooray is not only a great way to melodically celebrate life, it’s something to buy airbrushed on a T-shirt when you’re at the beach for a week on your summer vacation to show that you’re down.
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