Here's a list of various comeback jokes I got from various sites:

(In case you don't like them, I provided a list of other sites with some cool comeback jokes.)

• Hey, I may be fat, but you'll always be ugly, and I can diet.

• Man: So, how do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilized.

• Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be too, if you sit down.

• Man: Do you want to dance? Woman: NO Man: Sorry, I think you misheard me...I said, You Look fat in those pants.

• Little Sister: Your Ugly. You: And your quite good looking...for a Gorilla, that is...

• Do you notice how I've kept my youthful complexion? Yeah, so I see...all spotty

• Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You are going to yours, and I'm going to mine.

• Man: So, what's your sign? Woman: No Entry

• Man: I know how to please a Woman. Woman: Well, please leave me alone.

• Friend: I've just come back from the Beauticians You: Pity it was closed...

• Man: Please whisper those 3 little words that would make my day! Woman: Go to hell

• Friend: I've changed my mind... You: Excellent, so does the new one work better?

• Boss: Employees like that don't grow on trees you know... You: How true Sir, they normally swing underneath them...

• Brother: Why do you smell funny? You: It's called Soap - don't think you've ever smelt it before...

• Man: So, what do you do for a living? Woman: I'm a Female Impersonator.

• Man: Hey there, haven't I seen you some place before? Woman: Yes, and that's why I don't go there anymore.

• Man: Say, haven't we met before? Woman: Yes, I'm the head Nurse at the VD clinic.

• Man: I can tell that you want me. Woman: You know, you're dead right...I want you to go away!

• Wife: Darling, do you think I'll lose my looks as I get older You: With luck, yes

• Work Colleague: Do you find me entertaining? You: I reckon you are too dim to entertain a thought

• Old Wife: Shall I put the TV on? Old Man: Well it would certainly improve the view in here...

• You know, I've been asked to get married over a hundreds times. Yeah, but your parents don't count...

• How many people work in your office? About half of them

• Brother: I love biscuits You: That's cuz your crackers

• You: I reckon you'd make a great exchange student. Friend: Wow, you really think so? You: Yes, we might be able to exchange you for someone nice.

• Man: Hey there, haven't I seen you some place before? Woman: Yes, and that's why I don't go there anymore.

Other "comeback jokes" sites:


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Date: 9 Oct 2007 | Author: mesmerX | Category: News | Views: 117877

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Comments: 72

dapickle
wink laughing
I like pickles!!

Guest
they wernt cmbaks just jks sad

You no
Yea man just crazy

febreeze your fanny
watare you lot on you think they are good jokessome of you cant even spell

Guest
these dont even come up in conversation,,,, they suck angry

Guest
THE ZOO CALLED AND THE GORRILAS WANT THEIR BUTTS BACK SO JUST TAKE OF THAT THING YOU CALL A FACE AND I'LL TAKE IT OVER

Guest
wow yall are so gay u come on here to make gayer jokes go kill ur self flammers and whores

jjjjjjake
there all crap xxx wink

Guest
Hey

Guest
Bitch

Guest
twinkle twinkle little slut, you like penis up your butt

or

your so gay you put your boxers on backwards just for easy access

omg555
okay....this is good for a third grader.. angry really ithink there is more GOOD one out in this world

Guest
laughing these are all gaaay!!! ahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

Mark
smile wink wassat tongue laughing sad angry crying wink tongue laughing smile wassat tongue laughing
Earth is full get back to your home planet

Guest
lame,really,really lame

couchpotato
shut up you jewish nazi angry

Adolf
I hate jews

john
last time i heard that one i fell off ur mom!!!!

nick
oh haha, last time i heard that one i fell off my dinosaur

john
wow, i remember when i had my first beer

Guest
Fucking gay

Guest
smile

Justin Beiber
Im Justin Beiber XD

HAHA-
DOOOOR KNOOOOOOOOBBBB!!! laughing

Guest
i like how you all try to be cool when you comment on these,hmmm make ur own jokes up if you think these are gayy!

Guest
Are these the same wack jokes that were here 3 years ago? Go hang yourself laughing

Guest
this jokes are lame

Guest
these jokes are lame as fuckk

Guest
GAY angry

Guest
faaaaagggggggggg tongue

daddy now
well only about one is sutible around here

Us
These sentences that u call 'comebacks' are not good

tongue angry

Guest
shit jokeswassat

Henk
Ohhh I know y these jokes are so
The writer have humor problems

Guest
they are cool, not hurtful though. my friend just told me I want toilet paper for x-mas, cause i am full of shit -__- im not sure if to take this as offensive considering the fact that we are really close haha.

Guest
wow. wierdsmile

aj
laughing give it up for 2010 joker fo the year

!Shunderia !
Thiss Mess is Whacc im Fussinqq with This dudee Now Lol he aniit qot nunn On Me ! Str** Like Dhatss On SSumm Real Meadowbrook Ghurlss ....laughing

felicia
these are the most uglyiest combackes everwink

Antoine Dodson
We go find you! So you can run and tell that homeboy

GUEST
smile smile smile LAME JOKES

Guest
ah this jokes r lamelaughing

Guest
oksmile wink wassat tongue laughing sad angry crying

mariah
the jokes were okaysmile

Guest
LAME angry

Zach Page
im gay

Guest
daddy yankee in the jokse peas out doglaughingtonguesmile

Guest
how do they come up with these wonderment of jokes, there so funny i could just die of laughing really really really funny funny funny funny

paige whitehead
hayy wut up wow yall are crazyyy lol

Guest
WACKKKKKK angry

Guest
Hillariousssmiletonguelaughingwassat:wi
nk:

ash
smilelaughingthis jokes are jijiji LOL hahaha jokes love it!!!!!

DESIREE
DEZ JOKES WERE A 7 OUTTA A 10 smile DA 1 DAT I THOUGHT WAZ REALLE WACK WAZ DA................LYTTLE SIS:U LUK UGLY
U:ND UR QUITE GUD LUKIN 4 A GORRILLA LYK REALLEwassat

Cool!

Peace
l.o.l i was all sad + jokes^ = smile hehe they were funny i almost cryinged haha but mostly laughinging hahahahahahah

KLKG:)
Be kind to everyone and be fair and make good choices and good things may come up! always obey your parents!

KLKG:)
Treat people the way you want to be treated! smile

KLKG:)
i liked 1, 2, 4, and 5. Some of them are inaproperate and make no sence! I think that if people are gonna make a joke to make it nice and funny and approperate for everyone to use!!!

sisi56
angry disz are so wack !!!

Mike
to heather1256, this is why the punch was invented, you dont have to talk but they wont if u hurt them, or make it physically impossible for them to talk....

babe cakez
smiletonguelaughingwink:laughi
ng:tonguewinksmilewinkwassat:t
ongue:
these jokes r so funny i think i mite use sum lol thanks

heather1256
these are not that good because the kid in my class says curse words and i dont curse so i ignore him, i think neither of these work, put some more comebacks that actually will get the person to back off please. These will probably work for a couple of times. Good work.

gina
Lmaoo I'm so hot all u fuck can go to hell

gina
Lmaoo I'm so hot

chelly
laughingthese are funny

PinkkieXX
ok well no offence.. but most of these aren't that hurtful. There's better comebacks than this, if i were to say these, id get outran... anyways i like the one i can say to my x bf "whisper those three words that'll make my day" "go to hell" wink

dolfin
i like the first one.

poison
tongue wickked

laughing MORE THAN COMBACKS IF YA ASK ME!laughing THOSE SOUND LIKE JOKES MORE THAN COMEBACKS

CYNTHIA
HEHE
HAHA
THESE JOKES ARE BOUT AS OLD AS A DINOSAUR......SIRECLEY
laughing
THATS WHAT YOU CALL FUNNY

Jamine
fun funwassat

tonguelaughingreally funny

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